Yuck and double yuck on the Quiznos torpedo
At MaconRaine we’re well known Epicureans when it comes to our appetites. After hearing about Quizno’s new Torpedo sandwich I decided to treat the office to what I hoped would be a delicious diversion. Unfortunately the Torpedo turned out to be more of a limp toothpick than the sub-sinking terror promised in the advertisements.
What I received wasn’t the robust sandwich I’d hoped for. I could have dealt with its floppiness if it had come through with the promise of “over a foot of Quizno’s flavor”. At $4 dollars that’s 3 inches of delicious taste per dollar and I can accept extra cost if the quality is there. However, unless Quizno’s has partnered with DuPont to manufacture its ingredients there’s something seriously wrong with this sandwich.
As you can see from the picture below, amidst the scant scattering of lettuce lies a single layer of ham and some vagrant tomato chunks. A small, limp, sandwich deserves something to bolster its reputation; unfortunately it seems Quizno’s has gone to great pains to put quality behind them.
The amount of plasticized taste they were able to pack into such a small sandwich, with so few ingredients, should be the real tag line on their ads. Not only does it have the consistency of a Tupperware container it also tastes like the manufacturing floor where the containers are made. I guess that’s the value proposition on this inedible disappointment.
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Comments
I can attest that the sandwich was unimpressive.
Reminded me of a drawing I did a couple months ago:
http://davidmetcalfe.wordpress.com/2009/01/30/this-is-not-what-i-ordered/
I work at a Quiznos in Boulder, Colorado. It seems that the store you went to had an empoyee who couldn’t figure out how to use the meat weigher thing and gave you way too little meat. And in the torpedo’s defense, it is an incredibly thin sandwich, making it super hard to put more lettuce and tomato in without it all falling out and the top bread sliding off. Then comes the challenge of shoving it into the paper sleeve.
Also that’s turkey, not ham 
But I do see where you are coming from. I always eat either the Chicken Carbonara or the Turkey ranch and swiss or the Classic Italian.
[...] to counter these goofy bloggers? I found one guy that thinks it looks like a cigarette ad. One guy seems to have a Freudian problem and these people seem to think that one commercial purposely compares your torpedos to a cup of [...]
Well, credit where credit is due, the BAG looks exactly the same as it does in the ad. Probably you made the rookie mistake of taking the sandwich out of the bag before eating it, missing out on the flavorful ink, and health-boosting paper fiber.